Frustration

I wish the county would decide if they are going to actually transition to standards based grading (which is what the 50% rule is trying to emulate), or if they are going to continue the farce of the percent based system.

The two systems are incongruent. Either you expect students to master a certain *percentage* of the material and standards, or you expect students to reach a particular level of mastery.

After years of this travesty, I'm convinced my county doesn't really care about accurate measurement of student achievement, and really only wants to have a measure that puts them in the best, positive light, regardless of the accuracy of the data.

One Week!

I've been trying to pre-plan for the road trip (#FünfTrek) stopping points this year, mainly because I'm tired of fighting with the Sturgis attendees for a place to stop anywhere in a 500 miles radius of the rally. I also know that I struggle to get away from the house to even start the trip, ever since 2018, so I made a reservation to kickstart that as well. 

I should be on my way next Thursday, as I made a reservation in Shenandoah National Park. 

In the meantime, I'll be going through my gear to make sure I'm prepared for all parts of my trip! I also figured I'd sadly review the state of my New Year's Resolutions. 

1) This is the one that I have been able to maintain without fail, despite injury, weather or whatever. Most recently, it was Soldiers Delight again. 

A swollen stream to traverse at Soldiers Delight

2) No, I haven't been blogging once a month. I skipped April which bled into May and June.... I'll go into the why momentarily because it relates to another resolution. 

3) Eesh, no, I've fallen off the book reading wagon, and I need to change that. I think with the road trip coming up next week, it will be easier to get back into it... at least with some e-books. I don't want to bring a bunch of physical books with me. 

4) This. This one frustrates me the most because breaking it wasn't due to anything I consciously (or even subconsciously) did. This one stopped on April 5. I know the exact date because that's the day that I unintentionally walked off the tailgate of Pat's truck. No, I don't know what I was doing; I was just trying to unload the storm doors I'd bought, and I apparently forgot that the tailgate was down or something. I legitimately thought I was stepping down to the bumper of the truck. You ever have that sensation of stepping down, thinking you are going to contact the next step at a certain point, and it doesn't happen when you think it will? Yeah, now, imagine that you never make contact with that step. That is what happened. I stepped down.... and my leg kept going down.... Pat said it looked like I just walked off the end of the tailgate. 

I landed on my left forearm and hip, hard. I don't know how I didn't break something, though the pain was so intense, all I could do was writhe there in the driveway, crying in pain. Pat looked helpless. I hurt so bad. After over ten minutes, I staggered-crawled with Pat's help to the bathroom to try to clean up the wounds and assess the damage. 

It only took minutes to bleed through the wrapping

I could move my wrist and my elbow up/down (flex/extend), but any hyperextension of the wrist, attempts to support something with my wrist extended, or twisting (pronation/supination) of the elbow resulted in extreme pain. I went to urgent care the next day, and they sent me to the radiologist for X-rays. 

My elbow

Nothing showed up on the X-rays, so it was all soft-tissue damage. And it hurt. It hurt so bad. I was taking Advil like candy, and ultimately was prescribed 800mg tablets. 

It still hurts. 

Yeah, you read that correctly. Almost four months later, my wrist and elbow still hurt, though it's not nearly as debilitating it was the first two months. Now, kinesiology tape or a wrist brace will allow me to do things, including exercises that involve the wrist. My left hip still has a sore spot. 

It took three months before I could put enough weight on my left wrist/elbow to do planks or bear crawls or anything else that involved body weight on it. I tried a few times over the course of those three months to pick up where I'd left off (I'd just restarted the Centr Sculpted program again), and while I could many of the moves, I became horribly depressed over the pain and the inability to do simple stuff, like open a door or carry stuff with my left hand/arm. 

That depression was hard to overcome. I'd wanted to do so much during my spring break, and the injury derailed everything. I didn't get to camp, I couldn't exercise, I couldn't tie my shoes, I couldn't even drive. As it was, when I returned to work, I probably shouldn't have been driving those first few days. The pain was still intense, and if I had to move the steering wheel even moderately quickly, the pain took my breath away. That's why I wasn't blogging. That's why my exercising ground to a halt. 

Anyway, over the last two weeks, I've been able to pick back up and recover. I lost some of my gains, but I'm back in the saddle. I was still hiking as much as I could (my first post-injury hike was at Soldiers Delight right after there was a massive wildfire there, and it hurt my hip but I had my hiking poles so I was able to push through). 

Three days after the injury

Soldiers Delight after the fire

So, yeah, over the past two weeks, I've gotten back into the 4+ days of at least 20min of exercise. I plan to continue this.

5) Let's not talk about this one. Depression takes a hell of a toll. 

6) The WRX is currently languishing in the garage and serving as a shelf. Maybe I'll look at this before I leave next week so that I can at least get it through emissions, if not drive it to Boxerfest, which is the Sunday after I return from STEAM in the Park Voyageurs and the road trip. 

In the meantime, I do have the Camaro back after the engine install. Just one bent rod, but I guess that's also because I shut it down immediately when the damage occurred. 

Don't use cheap parts or mechanics. It will cost you more in the long run. Those lifters have 10K on them.

Happy Camaro

I do need to get it tuned, though that will likely not be able to happen until after I return from the road trip. 

So, that's where things stand, more than seven months into 2023! 

Planning

It's just about that time of year. 

The road trip is coming. 

An atlas is the best friend of a road tripper

So far, Pat has booked a flight into Denver, and a flight out of Minneapolis-St. Paul, plus arranged for fishing with RainyDaze Guide Service. Our plan so far is to go to Pikes Peak, maybe Rocky Mountain National Park, Wind Cave National Park and....??? before Voyageurs, where Pat's part of the trip will end.  

Why is Pat flying home on this trip?

Because I'll finish up the trip at Voyageurs at the second STEAM in the Park camp that I'll do this summer!

New River was the first STEAMinthePark camp I attended, and I touched something weird

In preparation for the trip, I've been going through our gear and cleaning, replacing and adding to it as appropriate. I did an "introduction to backpacking" session at Patapsco Valley State Park last month, and learned that backpacking backpacks need to be properly sized to avoid back injury. Since I've been looking at doing an overnight backpacking trip somewhere, this was important information!

This backpack was way too long for me.

After the session, I went to REI in Columbia to get sized and to try out various backpacks. Partly due to Naturalist Sam's recommendation on how well his Osprey packs had worked, I settled on a 65L Osprey Aura AG, then came home to order it since I had my REI Coop coupons and several gift cards from last Yule. 

I've also been streamlining other gear by cleaning up and listing our older Rhinowolf modular tents. We really don't use the original ones any more, since the version 2.0 is easier to set up and take down due to the center pole being outside the tent rather than inside. 

Rhinowolf tents are cool because they can zip together and have integrated sleeping pads and down blankets.

Beyond all that, I've already made reservations to camp in Curecanti NRA the night before I pick up Pat from the airport in Denver. Curecanti is essentially next door to Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park, so I'll finally check both of those off my Passports list! I figure that will be on the way "back" from the Bonneville Salt Flats, where I won't see Speed Week this time around. 

The Crosstrek looks at home on the Salt Flats

I'm getting antsy to head out. This'll be the fifth year of adventuring in the Crosstrek, so the hashtag we'll use is #FünfTrek (fünf is German for 5). Follow along if you want! 

note that links to Amazon are associate links and if you buy something through that link, I may receive nominal compensation. 
 

Marching

 This is the worst time of year for me. It's March. It's a march towards the worst day of my life. 

Mom and Dad on that fateful day.

I can't help it. 

A lot of it is because I feel so much unresolved guilt. There was so much I wanted to ask, so much I wanted to know. 

I also knew how depressed my dad was at the constant hospitalizations. He was so tired. 

Dad and Allison (in Jessica's arms) a few days after Alli's birth in 2014 

I remember arguing with him about this. I hated hearing words out of my mouth from him. One of the last times... the last time I had this conversation with him was when I was visiting him at the hospital in January 2015. We had the Capitals game on. They lost to Montreal. 

It would be the last time I got to interact with him in person, but I didn't know that then. He called me on my birthday. He wasn't at home yet, but he wasn't at that terrible place in Reisterstown that had my brother ready to fight someone for how the staff was treating him. 

The next two weeks are just me going through the motions these days, as I remember the lost opportunities and the horror of the text messages I was receiving those final days. 

Somewhere in a pile of rubber and steel

One day, April 2 will dawn, and I won't feel the dread and sadness that I've felt since 2015, when I awoke that morning knowing that was the day Dad would die. I don't know why we chose that day. I wish we hadn't chosen that day to turn off the ventilator; it's the day my beloved Camaro rolled off the assembly line, and now the joy of that car is forever tied to the anguish of losing my dad. 

So bear with me. Pat told me that day 8 years ago that the pain never goes away, that it just gets easier to manage. I guess I usually manage it okay, except for this time of year. But yeah, the pain is still there. 

It always will be. 

I love you, Daddy.  

Checking In

I can't believe it's almost the end of February. It's been two years since I was able to finally snag my first COVID vaccine and almost three years since the start of the whole disaster that is COVID-19. 

Six Flags was the site of a massive vaccination line. I wanted to slalom these cones so bad.

I'm still trying to recover my mental health from the past three years, as being trapped at home and teaching remotely really brought home that a work-life balance is critical to maintaining a healthy outlook. Part of that recovery is trying to keep up with my resolutions (SMART goals). Let's see where I am.

1) Just last week, I was on the C&O Canal Towpath around Snyders Landing before stopping by mom's in Sharpsburg. And the week before, I was at Soldiers Delight NEA again so that I could do the whole Serpentine Trail, so yes, this goal is still being met. 

The C&O Canal Towpath, just west of mile marker 77 near Snyders Landing

The far end of the Serpentine Trail at Soldiers Delight

With Spring Break started at the end of March, I don't see it being a problem to continue hiking at least once a month. 

2) This is a blog in February, so yes, I'm still meeting this goal. I haven't been as prolific as maybe I could be, but I've met the goal. 

3) I've fallen off a bit here. While I started off strong, I've stalled a bit recently while reading Karen Marie Moning's Burned. 

I got into this series years ago, and it's a bit hard to remember all the previous stuff

This is the first book I've been reading on the new Kindle that Pat got for me. It's nice to have the backlit display and not try to finagle a booklight on the Kindle like I used to do. My mom also got me a book I need to read (or at least strongly peruse) for road trip reasons; this is one I requested after Stefanie Payne hosted a #ParkChat evening on Twitter.

So far, this looks like some great ideas even for Parks I've been to

4) Yep, definitely been doing this. If it's not hiking, then it's been doing the Centr Sculpted program. I've even had to buy new weights! 

5) Yeah, that NBCT thing. I have applied the MSDE funding to my components. I just need to start doing the thing. I seriously have to do this now, since mid-May is the deadline for submission. I know what I want to do, so it's really a matter of documenting. 

6) The brakes are still mocking me. Maybe if Pat can actually go to Abacus this coming weekend, I can bring them with me and do that while I'm waiting around. Otherwise, I'm going to be bored. Considering I won't get a tax return, it would be nice to be able to sell the car to someone who is. 

7) I've started slacking on this a bit. I have my journal here next to the desktop, and I think about writing something down, especially after dreams like I had Friday and Saturday night. But then I don't do it. Same at work; I think about writing something down, but it's usually at the time where I just want to go home. I have felt better about accomplishing something each day, for the most part. For instance, today I fixed a cabinet door in the kitchen (after repeated trips to Lowe's) and yesterday I made a bunch of wands to list on Etsy, mostly because someone had requested a custom and I wanted to give them some choices. I just still need to list them!

So, this week is a "short" week because Friday is a half-day for students. It's interim prep day, and if I get all my comments and stuff in early, I can probably bolt just after noon so that we can get down to Abacus for tuning Pat's Camaro. He's been trying to get this thing tuned for the past month, but every weekend he's scheduled it, the weather's been in the low 40s (Fahrenheit) or colder. I just need to make sure I'm caught up on grading, and I need to come up with some lesson plans that don't involve collecting more work. 

I can't wait to be daily driving this beauty again

In the meantime, I'm waiting for my little green terror of a Camaro to come home. The poor car is undergoing a transplant due to a collapsed and stuck lifter. I had those lifters replaced by the hack who left cigarette butts under the hood and didn't properly tighten down a bolt when installing a clutch, so... yeah. I gave that tool more chances than I should have, and it's ended up costing me a lot of money. Fortunately, Pat's former employer, Powertrain Products, worked with me to get an LT1 to Redline Performance quickly. I'm keeping the core, and we'll see if I can do something with it. 

Here's hoping it's a good week!

Reflections on the Potomac River at Snyders Landing

note : some links are associate links where a click will result in minimal compensation to me if you also make a purchase through that link